Category Archives: short story

saya nyaris lupa caranya menulis
seperti yang biasa saya lakukan

harus mulai mencari kata
yang sembunyi entah di mana

satu satu
huruf demi huruf
mulai terkumpul

berantakan

tapi kalimat harus cepat dibuat

mata
mandi
air

saya tidak tahu apakah harus mandi mata air
atau mandi air mata

semua terlihat sama
jangan-jangan saya memang sudah lupa
cara menulis

sigh..

yang pertama kali selama empat bulan

Hi everyone!
Massive apologies for not updating my blog here for so long.. four months already.

Terimakasiy buat semua yang masih tetap datang berkunjung over the last couple of months but there’s nothing to look at! hehehe.. sorry!

Terakhir update blog waktu baru pulang dari rumah sakit karena usus buntu akut yang gak ketauan awalnya sehingga sampai pecah dan nyaris mengambil nyawa gue. Untung cepat dioperasi, bukan laparoskopi tapi bedah besar. Ternyata Tuhan masih kasih kesempatan buat menghirup oksigen dan mungkin untuk melakukan banyak hal lain yang lebih penting dan berguna buat diri gue. Dan orang lain yang benar-benar gue sayang.

Selama empat bulan ini, ada banyak banget valuable moments yang terjadi untuk pertama kalinya. Pertama kali nginep di rumah sakit selain karena melahirkan, pertama kali masuk ruang operasi. Pertama kali ngelihat Ulan ngejagain gue sendiri di rumah sakit. First time someone had a serious talk with my parents. First time i got big scars.

Yes, things are definitely a lot better than when i last posted!

Dan hari ini, 29 Agustus, hari lahir gue.
Sama kayak hari lahirnya Michael Jackson, hahaha gak penting yaaa.. biarin, yang penting i love him.
Hari ini pertama kali gue dibikin amazed sama Ulan, ada love letter yang dia tulis pakai tangan di cover CD yang isinya playlist lagu-lagu pilihan dia yang hmmm.. damn good, mayoritas bukan lagu-lagu mainstream top 40, buat anak perempuan seusia dia harus gue akuin kalau seleranya bit different, unique… i truly love the playlist.

Ini ucapan ultah dari Ulan:

You are capable to carry the weight of the sky, the soil, the hurricane, and the ocean along with the waves that clash onto ypur back yet you still manage to touch in the tenderest manner, your lips still kiss like cherry pie, your heart still have the space of the universe even when the world is trying to break it down.
You have that celestial unrealness that shows through your eyes.
I don’t know how to celebrate someone as ethereal as you but i will start with love songs.
Happy birthday!
P.S these songs are so or may be so corny, if you don’t like it just return it to me

Pengen nangis gak sihhhhh?!

Hmm.. waktu gue tanya, why is the words so deep? dia bilang karena itu gue di mata dia. Terharu!
Best words ever came from my little girl.

Aaaaand next my first six cupcakes!

Let’s continue to another ‘first time’.

Salah satunya, bikin pameran foto analog bareng teman-teman idFilm. Gue satu-satunya perempuan yang ikut photo exhibition ini. Perempuan edan, kalau kata mereka hahaha. Berasa anak bawang di antara abang-abang senior itu semua. Exhibitionnya di Negev resto di Gatsu bulan May kemarin dan baru selesai 20 Agustus kemarin, iyaaa.. diextend dari yang harusnya selesai bulan July.
Ini analog photo exhibition gue yang pertama. Gue motret pake film, diajarin nyuci dark room sama Tompi dan dicetak secara manual [wet printing] sama Tompi juga.
Udah aja foto gue kasih harga Rp 8jt, laku dibeli sama orang. Mungkin orang itu ngefans berat sama gue sampai foto bayangan cewek rambut pendek yang dia gak kenal aja dibeli sama dia hahahaa! Crazy.
It’s ok, paling nggak dari hasil penjualan ini bisa sedikit donate buat anak-anak penderita bibir sumbing yang butuh dioperasi. Alhamdulillah masih bisa kasih sedikit manfaat buat orang lain.

Idfilm analog photo

Negev Art gallery Bar & Restaurant

Analog photography

Kepingin punya satu mainan bisnis kecil, akhirnya dapat yellow money deposit box for #littlebit untuk yang pertama kali. Every month will save a bit. Satu juta rupiah pertama di awal Agustus ini.

Hmmm not forget to mention, a big big big tiring efforts for making one of my dreams come true. A new house for my parents.
Untuk pertama kali memindahkan ortu ke rumah baru di daerah Kali Sari Cijantung. Idul fitri tahun ini pun menjadi hari raya yang pertama dirayakan di rumah itu. I am happy for them. Feel so blessed.

July kemarin, pertama kalinya jalan ke Sinjapo bertiga: gue, Ul dan Al. Such a very fun and great moments we had. Pastinya akan ada yang kedua, ketiga, dst.. ke mana pun itu.

Dua minggu lalu, pertama kali pergi ke Shanghai, rombongan dan padat banget schedule acaranya.. berasa jadi tourist beneran hihihii..

Shanghai

Waktu ke sana itu pertama kalinya ke luar negeri gak pakai acara motret serius, cuma bawa pocket camera sama iphone, photo-photonya baru sebagian kecil diaplod di instagram gue. Monggo mampir yaaa kalau pengen lihat :]

That’s it, my first valuable moments for the last couple of months. Dan gue masih akan selalu mencari hal-hal baru yang belum pernah gue alami yang bisa memperkaya pengalaman batin gue kelak.

See you guys soon.

 

‘i mega love you and i’m not moving’

someone singing this song, softly..

‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet
And you’ll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I’m not moving, I’m not moving

Policeman says, “Son, you can’t stay here.”
I said, “There’s someone I’m waiting for if it’s a day, a month, a year.
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows.
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.”

So I’m not moving, I’m not moving,
I’m not moving, I’m not moving

now am speechless, he gave me all he got, even his own self.. thank you for walking through the rain for almost 30mins from home just to help me out from my tummy cramps and for coming to the hospital at that midnight time without your driver though you know you couldn’t see me.
i know you will always be there for me. no matter what happens.

all we need is us

And yes, we are not meant to be apart.. many silly things happen when we’re apart.
God has this funny little way of letting us finally know the fact.

ketika venus lahir

ada yang bilang
hidup adalah komedi hitam
sebuah kesejajaran abnormal
atau unsur yang mengerikan
yang dibuat menjadi karya oleh para komikus
makin pekat dan larat maka makin nikmat

dalam riuhnya hujan,
apa pun tampak samar dan kabur
begitu juga kelamnya dunia
yang lucu pun tampak hitam
subuh itu venus lahir
menggantikan bulan
mencoba berkawan dengan matahari
berharap
hidup tak lagi komedi hitam

a magical morning

Oca amarlis

Dari kecil gue paling suka pelangi.
Dulu, setiap habis hujan dan langit masih cerah, pasti gue bakal nyari tempat paling tinggi atau kalau di pas lagi di rumah gue akan langsung naik ke atas genteng sekedar buat nungguin kalau-kalau ada pelangi di langit.
Bisa sampai 15 menit gue tungguin, paling sedih kalau udah ditungguin tapi gak keluar pelanginya.
Sampai sekarang pun, masih suka ngejar pelangi.
Pernah waktu ngantor di Y&R Indonesia di Menara Jamsostek, sampai keluar dari ruang meeting gara-gara ada yang teriak di luar ruangan ‘look, ada pelangi!’ dan gue bilang sama orang-orang di meeting room gue mau ke toilet, padahal gue ke lantai 9, outdoor area, bengong di sana ngelihat pelangi. Duh, senangnya minta ampun.

Yes, i do really love rainbows and their beauty.

Pelangi buat gue bukan cuma indah, dia  bukan cuma sederet lengkungan warna-warni.
Entah kenapa, dari kecil kalau setiap habis nangis berkepanjangan atau kalau lagi sedih-sedihnya, pasti dikasih liat pelangi sama Tuhan. Hehehee.. Allah tuw baik banget. Selalu tau cara menghibur gue.
I believe that it was God telling me that I would never have to go thru that particular sadness that I remembered, faced & dealt with again in my life time.
Then I feel so special & loved.
Dengan melihat pelangi secara langsung, gue bisa merasa langsung punya energy lebih, pure positive energy, blessings. To me it’s the perfect time to be grateful for all the gifts in my life.

Pagi hari, di hari pertama di tahun yang baru ini, sekitar 8am, matahari baru mulai kelihatan dari balik awan yang sedikit kelabu karena hujan yang gak habis-habisnya sejak semalam, gue dikasih sebuah luxurious moment sama Tuhan. I saw a rainbow! Not only one rainbow, it was a double rainbow!!
I felt something extremely powerful from it, double harvest and double blessings!

Gue beranggapan bahwa itu sweet surprise dari Tuhan buat gue di awal tahun baru, karena 3 hari sebelumnya gue bikin wishlist dan seeing a rainbow after the rain is one of the item on the list.
Gue berasa pengen nangis senangis-nangisnya waktu dikasi liat double rainbow itu. What a wonderful magical moment.

That was my first spiritual story in 2015.
Hope everything good will happen in the future.
Aamiin!

And here I would like to wishing you all a Happy New Year with hope that you will have many blessings in the year to come.

[When double rainbows appear it means that whatever is coming to you has great meaning in your life and that one good thing will lead to another good thing. I really rejoice in your happiness and good fortune. The rainbows are a sign from the cosmic universe that you are about to have something great fall into your lap! – Lillian Too of Feng Shui Malaysia]

my other 1st time

I enjoy shooting much more than image processing. When I’m completed a shoot, I do a quick, rough edit to see what I’m captured, and categorizes and tags all images using photo mechanic on my 13-inch screen macbook.
Then perform minimal image adjustments to tweak brightness, contrast, or white balance to try to get the image to look the way I saw it using adobe photoshop. I really don’t doing much photoshop stuff because I’m not really good at it and that stresses me out.

Almost four years I’ve been trying to shoot with analogue camera again. Using lomo DianaF, canonet or Hassy and lately M6, all the negatives been in the fridge for long time. Nope, I’m not trying to keep them all until I die and expecting later someone will find boxes of negatives like Vivian Maier case hahahaa..
Yea, I just tried to keep shooting, haven’t seen the result. Actually the real reason is that I’m too lazy to find out or ask someone about the place that can do a film processing.

Until last week, a friend taught me how to wash the film. Processing 35mm film in a darkroom for the first time is a timeless experience that everyone should experience at least once in their life! because the feeling that you get when you first see an image appear on a once blank sheet of film is almost magical. Like seeing a newborn baby into the world.

Thank you, Tompi, for teaching me not more than 30 mins film developing and scanning.

I’ll share you guys the results, will tag them using #FilmOca
Enjoy!

Oca Amarlis

Oca Amarlis

Oca Amarlis

oca amarlis

Oca Amarlis

*the pics above was photographed by Pak Abiprayadi

at somewhere, while waiting

F, 07112014

This,
what you called life.

Have you ever think how complex our life is?
Many trouble
sorrow
pain.
At the same time mixed with
happiness
achievements
and many more.

I used to hate complexity.
But now,
complexity is my comfort zone.
I won’t say our life is like a wheel.
Where sometimes we are up
sometimes we are down.
Why?
Because it will keep rolling,
rolling, rolling and rolling.
Indeed it never ends.

The storm strikes.
The ground breaks.
The rock falls.
Anything beyond our expectations.
Nevertheless,
i would say our life is
just like an adventurer.
As expected,
sometimes we are up
sometimes we are down.
But the target is to stay on top.
Because it has purpose.

And destination.

until then, i can only take pictures of silence that i would hold to forever..

my lion

Candle #lv

bcc #lv

ocaamarlis

Ocaamarlis

#lv #gpgt

cake first

bday cake

a small halo
of warmth shines
my life was touched
by one light
birthday candle

[somewhere, 29th august 2014]

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